It has finally dawned on this 'ol boy that I am aging at a steady pace..lol. Its one of those things that we hate to admit especially to ourselves and actually be able to live with that notion .  I have sat this past week and reflected a great deal on my own situation and life, and having come to the realization that no matter what,... one cannot stop the sands of time no matter what power you may think you have,, it will never stop.. It never really dawns on us until such a time as when we are about to undergo a life transformation period. My daughter, will be 18 years old Thursday...18 years...its hard for me to think that that time period has expired in such short order. Events and time just seem to whiz by unbenounced to us until it smacks ya with a little reality..lol. I kinow we all undergo these feelings and emotions as parents, and we all know that eventually we have to let go..but..Where the hell did the time go. I have been a stay at home dad for most of my childrens lives and have spent every possible day and moment with them and still, it seems like they where just born and requiring constant supervision and care...

College is in her future this fall, and plans to attend the UMA campus have been in the works, she has formed relationships with friends, and a has a boyfriend, she is talking of jobs, apartments, and so forth and it just hit me all of a sudden knowing full well what has transpired over the past few month even years..lol.

I had to sit back and take a few moments to realize, she is not alone... My other two are right on her heals..literally. Within 4 years our children will all be grown, gone, and living the lives they are destined for.. We as parents will be like newlyweds again.Alone, having completed our jobs in rearing and raisng them to be all they can be. Whoooow...Reality check moment .

I am joyful in the notion that as a parent, I have done the best I can to prepare her and the others for the future that awaits them.. but at the same time have those moments of self doubt and evaluation, wondering if I did in fact teach them as well as I could have and had hoped to..Have I instilled the values and integrity of family, honor, tradition, and so forth.

I guess as stated, only time can tell, as I have to relinguish the hold I have on them as an adult and parent and watch them blossom into individuals of their own. It just seems like it was all but yesterday I was changing diapers, cuddling, and nurturing them, putting them on the schoolbus for the first time, bandaging their first boo boo's and so forth. Now its, leave me alone, I can do it, and the rest of the typical teen attitudes and such..

So in eccence, I/we are about to undergo a life transformation as will our daughter and two other kids soon. I just don't know if I am ready for that just yet, but will have to buck-up as it were and go with the sands of time as best I can. All I know is... cherish each moment we have here on this earth, as they are far to few in our lifetimes.

Hope everyone has a great day and remainder of the week. Be well, stay safe, Namaste

Well its been almost a week now since starting my own network on Ning. I am somewhat disappointed in the fact that it has not grown in membership as quickly as I had hoped and / or expected. I realize that networks can and usually do take some time to develop and for its membership to grow, but I had hoped to have more initial members from the start.

I figure a network grows from its initial membership of friends, family, etc and branches out from there as their acqaintances become familiar with the community, etc. But that is hard to accomplish with so few members at the beginning of development. I was hoping several of my Braveneters would follow and join us there as well but such dosn't seem to be the case. So I am somewhat dissapointed and maybe somewhat dillusioned in my interpretation of friends. Oh well..

I will find ways to gain memberships I am sure, but it would be great to see some of my favorites from here over there as well even if nothing more than for encouragement, recruiting, etc.

Well it is again midweek and things are status quoe here. My son has developed an insatiable throat irritation again, he seems to get this every year since having his tonsils out a few years back. The last bout almost resulted in surgically removing part of his throat lining, so we have an appointment again today to see if we can get control of this before it gets to much worse and requiring surgury. Some kick butt antibiotics worked well last time but he hates taking them..lol. But given the alternative he managed well. So my afternoon will be occupied sitting around the Doc's office waiting to hear the usual report..

Hope you all have a great humpday yourselves, many blessing, Namaste.

OK after giving some thought as to my recent banning, I have decided to establish a new network community. This a sort of combination of two of my favorite communities Bravenet and MOG. There are a gread deal many folks I enjoy staying in contact with and have come to cherish as friends and acqaintances. This also allows me to keep most contacts in one place and make for easier times in communication and staying up to each other on my part.(The Method behind the Madness)

I have sent out invitations via emails to several folks here, however I have gotten reports from others that the emails didi not go through for whatever reason. So in leu of wasting time at a second attempt at mass email. I am again extending an open invitation to you all here. My network is a Ning network and anyone familiar with that knows it is very similar to a myspace account but without all the junk attatched. If interested in joining please feel free to visit my network at http://ourjourneys.ning.com I am not sure which page you will be directed to but if there is no sign up for account, just send me your email and I will send you an invite directly from the site. I have had to do that twice now, so we'll see what happens.

I know many will think I already have way to many sites and accounts to maintain and such, and that is fine. But I extend the invite anyway in hopes you may consider joining us there as well. Please stop on by and read up on the community, see if you would be interested and then hook up with us and some of the other folks you may already know. It is a community network where you can be you in all facets of your life and share freely and openly without the demands and power trips of some of the other networks with selfish "Drill Intructors" at the helm.Egos, greed and powertrips are stowed.. I refuse to have another network out there where one cannot express, live and be respected in all facets of being, thought and expression.

It is young, and with time I hope it to be an awsome network filled with individuals sharing common interests, dreams, and experiences. It is also a community for questioning, and learning as we progress on our personal journeys in and through life. There is no religious affiliation, it matters not of your faith and spiritual belief, and as such you are entitled and encouraged to share your individualisms with others. Its a community of Respect.  Think of it this way:

"Learning is valued for the power it has to change lives" We all have experiences to share and learn from, why not join with others and let your knowledge benefit others too...

Ok I have to vent here for a bit folks. Seema I went and got myself banned from another network community Ihave been a member of for over two years., mainly because I posted this same entry there. Now I should clarify that in this post Nowhere did I elude to "Native Americans" nor "Spirit Guides". Now the administrator of said network, states intelligence and common scense as a strength they have. I'm sorry but anybody with a shred of intelligence should be able to read between the lines and figure this post as a Hypothetical "What If" scenerio and not take it as a factual statement toward any Native American culture or nation. The word  (Native) itself was used but not in a context to be misconstrued as Native American, Indian, or similar term.

The owner of this network deemed it neccesary to post a reply to MY blog giving me an indepth essay and disartation on the beginnings of life all the way back to sponges...furthur adding insult by making random jokes about our household spunges being our judge at passing and during crossover.. DAH...also adding that in no Native American culture are animals our guides and judges at such times.

Do you see a pattern here yet folks?

So I politely tried to explain to them that this was an entry based on a hypothetical idealism having yet to be proven in many cultures, and explained that my intelligence didnt need a boost via essay and disertation on the beginnings of life, furthur the fact that this was my blog and a simple "I disagree" would have sufficed.

Well I had given there entry some thought and decided to delete the response they had posted, assuming they now understood the meaning behind the post. That being.. we need to consider our actions toward our wildlife and domestic animals, and should that possibility exist, its better to be gracious and nurturing than to be destructive and condeming, for our future may depend on their judgement..

OOPS!

They took that as a censorship on my part. I visted my blog this AM and low and behold the entire blog entry had been deleted by the administrator. So I again posted my entry which was followed by a notification of being banned.. WTF. My post was deleted due to "Censorship" of their comment, but yet I get Banned for resubmitting my original blog entry.. Now who's censoring whom!

I have had three responses from other members all having personalized this to the Native American culture, not one of then can seem to get it wrapped around there head that this is a hypothetical situation and idealism..is it just me.. or do I seriously see an intelligance gap here.

Regardless, I have been banned and will not return to that network as the administrator is doing just what they feel like with others personal entries, comments, etc. They are doing exactly what I have been accused of censoring others "Freedom of Speech"

Well, it may make no scense to others and that is fine.. I feel better having vented at least on my behalf.

A solitary moment in time reviels much to ones individual psyche if permitted to entertain the thought process. To " go with the flow" as it were. What started as a stroll amidst the fields and hills rendered an iincredible realization that we as man are weaving our own demise. This is not a new notion and is somewhat commonplace in knowledge today. More and more are concerned and enlightened as to our own destruction. I favor trees, wildlife, fresh air, and so much more... all essential to my well being.  It is profound when one becomes astutely aware of their insignificance in the world as we know it. When one compares how we relate to other things in our environment we become very aware of our size, purpose and even insignifacance. But what few seldom reach is the understanding of their contributions on the whole. We have the ability to destroy, or repair as we move along our paths and what you choose to do effects a great deal many more than just oneself.

If you doubt this, try this.. find a solitary tree, preferably in a field, sit beneath it, and just contimplate its structure, size, and potential for growth. Think about its purpose, its destiny, and see what you come to realize. You may be somewhat surprised at your findings and thought pattern. Here was my recent event:

It is not I that sits here alone succumbing to the slaughter of mankind’s demise. Though I perch beneath the oak of my destiny, mighty as it is, It reveals life from within its limbs. Each twig, each leaf brings forth a moment in time, a perpetual clock of my being. Each having a purpose hidden within its course  tentacles and veins. The outer sheath of spinney fibers forms a shield to protect it from all.

Within its splendor, it brings forth new life having been stored since its own conception. It offers shelter, food, comfort. The mighty oak, vastly diverse in nature, strong, committed, and a symbol of life. Lonely as it may be at times, continues to grace our presence in times of despair, disease, and demise. It absorbs our sins, and offers us new breath as it waves its arms to and fro from within the natural winds.

For Mother Earth gives it life, we too take life from within, and without it, we shall parish. We must protect and endure its freedom to reign the forested lands and our fields. We must protect all from our environmental discretions, years of non compliance to the code of the Earth Mother. It has now become our destiny to nurture, to acknowledge and remedy those transgressions bestowed by many in years past. For if we wait, and future generations adopt the same philosophy, Earth Mother will heal herself, but without us as a species. Is that what we really want, to cause our own destruction and annihilation?

The oak offers us hope, a belief that mankind can co-exist, and conceivably turn around the destruction we have brought forth. For centuries we have progressed at the expense of ourselves. When do we take the moment to realize, this is devastating our own mission, our own survivability. We have pushed wildlife, and entire communities of forested lands to the brink of extinction, it only seems natural we would too follow suit and destroy ourselves in the process. This is not what the Creator wanted I am sure.

We are to live in harmony with all. We are to nurture all, we are to protect all that has been given us in a manner which is befitting of the Creator and our ancestral relations. Take what you must for survival, not for profit or greed, so many other beings and animals rely on the sustainability of our resources and the many gifts offered from Earth Mother. Who are we to decimate her and all she bequeaths us? Who are we to control the end of our destiny as mankind. This is a decision of the Creator. We are not god's, we are not worthy of such high distinctions and to make those choices.

The mighty oak prevails because it does what the Creator intended it to. To be...to harmonize within its universe, to grace the lands with its seed, and to provide as needed. The oak does not take without giving, it has no purpose for greed and destruction, it has compassion for other living organisms in its own realm, why can we not be like the oak? We must become the oaks upon our lands and do as they do…

It is the teachings and beliefs of many Native cultures that we as humans are connected to animals in many ways and structure. I do not disagree with this at all. However in some teachings it is said that as we approach our final journey, we come upon a bridge natural in design.. Hense the proverbial Golden ( or Pearly)  Gates in taraditional religious belief structure.

It is believed that every animal in which we as humans have ever conenected with, communicated with, nurtured  or harmed is present at such times as we encounter the bridge of the crossover. It is they who decide not the father, grandfather, creator, whatever you may call the almighty wether or not our final disposition and resting place is to be among the spirits in the other realms or not. It is they that decide if our actions warrent such honor and distinction as to be allowed to roam amongst the many who are deserving. Imagine if you will, every animal, large or small that you had contact with was there. What is it that they would remember of you as a being and your worthiness to mingle among them.

Would they consider your actions to be favorable and in good standing toward them, or would they remember the smallest of injustices bestowed upon them by you? Would they aspire to allow your presence in a world they have created and are pleased to offer mankind for his deeds rendered, or would they blacklist you (as it were) and if so why? Consider for a moment your actions as of late toward wildlife, and our domesticated pets. Have your actions been positive, have they been encouraging to others and of benefit to all animals even on the smallest scale?

My point here is that one needs to consider all things great and small in the overall picture. As we know, we are all connected, we are part of the great circle, and people use terms like carma, beneficial gain, etc to cover up for an innadequet or missjudged error. Place yourself amongst the animals and in their world, observe what it is they see, feel and do. Be compassionate toward wildlife, leave them un molested and amidst their natural environment.  We are guests in their communities no matter how you look at it.. they were here long before we ever came to be. So it seems natural that we trhink along those lines.. we are their guests not vise versa, and as such, why should they not have the final say on our worthiness to live and or be among them in the end?

Bottom line, is no matter your belief structure, no matter what you have been taught, nobody really knows they afterlife and its determined effects on any given individual. Many would argue the fact that there is an afterlife, some would say that we can be reborn after death as another source of being, and so on.. this may all well be true, but until your destiny comes to an end, you will never know the true facts surrounding such idealisms. Make every action you take while on this earth count for something.It is not important to be remembered for what you did or didnt do, its more important to do all that you can while you can, to enrich others in your time allowed here. Animals included...

For in the end when judgement does come in whatever form.. you will have given your best efforts and that will always win over the negatives that may follow you. It is also said that one cannot live in the past, this is also true.. one can only move forward and with grace and stauture be willing to accept what comes along and decide from hense the direction one wishes to roam.

There are many ways in which to leave your mark here upon Earth, they do not always come in the form of relationships and words.. Mostly they are judged and come as actions, make yours positive ones, and if it is in deed the animals in which our crossover rests, then be escpecially counscience of their realm and respect it as your own..

Many blessings to all, Namaste!

I again awoke top the many splendors of my universe this day. The comical amd whimsica of Eugene peircing the morning air. You don't know Eugene as yet, but he has become the lead vocalist in my latest musical ensemble for my page here. He sports a red body suit, and has been known to were a black mask around the neighborhood. He is a curious one he is..always poking about and checking neighbors yards to and fro he goes all day long. He lurches one direction while peircing a view in another, never knowing what he may bump into. He goes about singing his tunes without a care in the world.

 Eugene has become somewhat a permeneant fixture in these parts, and a welcomed one at that. He gets morsel and seed from many neighborhood homes, and visits regularly throughout the year. Eugene is our neighborhood Carlos Santana. He does to birdsong what Carlos can only do to a guitar..lol.  His tunes resignate magically through the air and every note made crisp and clear for all to enjoy and embrace.

I got to thinking about Eugene yesterday after having compiled the tunage for my page here, and thought it only proper to give credit where credit is due. So It is my distinct privilage to introduce Eugene, singer, songwriter, performer and my neighborhood guru of birdsongs.

Mind you Eugene was somewhat skiddish at having his image plastered on the internet, but with a little finese and some persistance, he was accomodating nonetheless. Without furthur adue.. I present Eugene..

Smartly dressed, strict in stature, ready to perform again... Will be looking for you again in the near future my friend..

That is Eugene, and a very welcome addition to my circle of friends. His song is precise, persistant, and very much enjoyed daily in these parts, as well his accompanying friends of song too.

A lonely day approaches this AM. Kids are back to school and following predestined routines, Deb has gone off to work and it is the dogs and I once again. Our weather has turned, and now presents us with grey cloudy skies with the threat of rain lingering in the distant future. Those glorious golden sunny days we enjoyed over the weekend, were of course short termed at best. It really comes as no surprise though, after all its is spring and we are in a typical cycle for our area and time of year. Spring is magical, and one never really knows what is around the corner. One minute you may have sunny clear skies followed by days of rain or even snows on the distant horizons. I have learned to just roll with the times and tides as it were. Unfortunately it kind of throws wrinkles in any given plans one may have for different activities and outings , etc. The plus side to this is that there is always something to be done, rather indoors or out, so the days are still filled with a quality and an endless quantity of activities.

When I want to be outdoors  doing a great deal many things I enjoy or need to, I find myself indoors completing household chores or some form of maintenance due to weather changes, etc. and vise versa.
Regardless, they never seem to escape us, so I just roll with it. Eventually, it all works out in the long run.

The season is still young and life outside is just now renewing, buds are forming and coming into bloom, grasses are ever so green, and the magical songs of the many birds are filling the daytime and evening air with graceful abundance and familiar sounds. The air is refreshing, and the smells of those ever present springtime rains fills ones soul with hope and renewal, and puts the beast within to rest.

 Springtime rains have a magic about them unseen by many but felt by most. For me, a good rainstorm and some incredible rolling thunder seems to just melt away all the stresses having been pent up and carried within my being. In the proper context and mindset, the rains can calm, even elevate one to another plain and level of being. They begin to take on a meditative state and the body and mind can once again begin to feel the connection to another realm. It also causes moments of contemplation at times, seeking wisdom and or just plain awareness of how insignificant we really can be and are in this vast universe and our environment, as we begin to watch the mysteries unfold. Life is rejuvenated and the rains are the blood force behind this rejuvenation.

I think most would also say that rains have an effect on them personally on the emotional level. Who doesn’t have a memory tucked away somewhere were a rainstorm had a direct influence on an outcome or as a triggering effect. Many associate rain with tears and sad memories or grief. Others may associate rains to a fond childhood or playful memory . Regardless rain is associated and directly effects us all on an emotional and sometimes physical level. So even aside from the natural world were the rains are the driving force behind all life itself, we as humans on a fundamental level are connected with that same life force.

As stated, Spring has a magic all of its own, we experience it daily even moment by moment as its carpet is rolled out and its presence unveiled. Roll with it, enjoy the natural beauty and life force it presents us,  nurture it and yourself to ensure full benefit of its time and magical power. Let the magic renew your faith in mankind, and in global rejuvenation, let it lift your spirits and to increase your awareness of the life force around you, let it carry you to a new plain of existence enjoyed and understood by few.

With many wishes for a great week ahead for all my relations and friends, be well, stay safe , Namaste one and all.

Its been a fantastic weekend weatherwise around the state of Maine. We were graced with some wonderful sunlight and temps in the high 70's to mid 80's, a beautiful spring day without a doubt. Unfortunately I was unable to enjoy it on the motorcycle as yet due to not having it registered yet, but will have that done soon. It would have been a great weekend for some riding too.. but oh well, more are coming and I will be more than willing to accomodate the sun gods.

Not much new around here either.. been kind of slacking a bit and enjoying the warmer temps as they rolled in. The kids were on their school break for the past week, so not much got done via them either..lol Thankfully school starts up again tomorrow, now maybe the house will resemble some form of order again.

Internet issues are still plaquing me at this time but there is a solution on the horizon..we are looking into another ISP which shows some promise, and is definately better than we have at present, so all is good I guess. We'll have to see where that goes. Thats about it for my homefront, Hope you all enjoyed your weekend as much as I did, and may your coming week be filled with joy, light, and laughter... Namaste all..

General entry today:

I don’t know where this is going so.. I am just rambling this go round. Its Friday 17April, mid month of the new beginning. The grounds about me are amidst a transformation yet again.. The grasses are greening, the mosses are growing and climbing the trees and rock like small creatures on a quest, The buds are coming to be seen amidst the trees and shrubs, The air is filled with the familiar sounds and smells of a rejuvenation and all the elements are prime for the coming of a glorious summer. It’s a magical time of year.

We are blessed each and every time we are witness to such things. The Creator has given us these gifts and yet, many still do not comprehend nor appreciate the vast variety of sights, sounds, and smells. Many stay confined, like huddled masses instead of venturing out and being an individual experiencing the vast offerings of the Creator and Mother Earth. We have broken our vows of exploration as mankind. Instead we have become a society of endless robotic protégés for another’s consumerisms and financial gains.

When did we loose the luster for adventure? Why can we not endure the “self gratification” and wanting for ourselves any longer. It is fear… Fear of the almighty “replacement syndrome“. We value the almighty dollar, and security of employment and other financial gain more than we do our own wellbeing and commitment to self health and sanity.

Bur in retrospect I often wonder, in our pursuits of financial gain and job security, how much of oneself does one loose? How much of our personal self is injured and plagued with illness, ailments, and so forth because we are confined to our own minds interpretation of societal limits We fear that we may be replaced in the job market because we take personal time to better ourselves and heal spiritually, we fear the calling into the bosses office because we extended our lunch hour to gain a few moments of solace and rejuvenate ourselves, in hopes to finish the days work in a productive and safe manner.

We cram our schedules and time with useless acts and random errands in order to make ourselves feel alive and useful for some others benefit. Why can we not find in all that is…a moment for the self, without the feeling of guilt? Have we lost so much personal respect and ownership that we can no longer claim our independence and steal that moment, no matter how brief, for ourselves without the feeling of reprisals?

Nay sayers would have you believe we are selfish in that manner. I ask.. is it selfish to want to better oneself, to become focused, to be at peace and in harmony with all that is around them. Is it selfish to want some personal time to focus ones energies and thoughts toward self betterment, and for better health.. Is it selfish to want to regain a lost passion, to regain a vibrant, youthful, attitude and to explore yet again the multitude of all that is available to oneself. I don’t believe the term “selfish” belongs in that modest description..

I am alive and in great personal graces when I have such an opportunity. I am like the Earth itself in many ways, as we all are. Our moods and emotions are influenced by the Earths rotation and gravitational pulls, so are our eventualities, With the coming of the seasons, also comes the fluctuation in lifestyles we have become accustomed to. When Mother Earth becomes alive and begins to show new growth, we become more alive and anticipate the coming of many things. When she slumbers, so we do as well, with the coming of the winter months we are deeply affected physically and emotionally, as are the wild animals upon her canvas. Fear is not the answer….for the final outcome.

Fear is the only thing standing in your way to a better you. Imagine the things one can accomplish without fear tagging alongside to guide you. Don’t let fear rule your life, don’t let fear grasp your every desire to explore once again. “Kick fear to the curb…”

Basically what I am saying here, is.. never mind the thoughts of repercussions, never mind the “replacement syndrome”.. get out, experience, explore, and live once again. Find what makes you happiest, find what it is that sets you apart from the robotic entities we have become. Enjoy life again as you were a child.